Shallow Living
by DeadbeatNoctis
Summary: A certain word appears somewhere on your body when your soulmate is born. Apollo has lived thousands of years without a mark and is resigned to being alone. Eighteen years ago, one August morning to be exact, he awakes to find a black word curling over his collarbone.
1. Chapter 1

Apollo stood next to the back exit of one of the grungiest clubs in New York. He was trying to forget the stench of beer mixed with urine and ease the headache that those damned strobe lights had provoked. A shrill laugh made him jump and he glanced over to see a thoroughly pissed girl leaving the club with a prepubescent looking boy.

Truth be told, he wasn't sure why he had wound up at the club. Call it force of habit. But perhaps Artemis was beginning to rub off on him, seeing the drunk, half- naked girls had only revolted him. Companionship seemed out of the question for the rest of the night.

He wasn't sure of what to do with himself. Unlike the other gods, he didn't a spouse waiting for him, didn't have anything like Artemis's hunters to call family. It was well past midnight, his children would not appreciate the visit. He pushed off of the dirty wall with a sigh, letting his feet carry him and letting his thoughts wander where they may.

Unsurprisingly, they returned to a subject that had haunted him over the years. He had a soulmate, of that he was sure of. Seventeen years ago a word had appeared, curling over his collarbone. It meant his better half had been born. Somewhere in this world there was a person, marked by the same word, perhaps looking forward to meeting him. Perhaps they were one of the people who didn't believe in soul mates.

He knew that love had never been kind to him, never been kind to his lovers. His heart shuddered in remembrance of Hyacinthus, Daphne, and Kassandra. Had he not stepped into their lives they would have lived well into old age. Remorse wasn't a common emotion among the gods, but it plagued him often enough.

He smiled without the slightest hint of humor. It was ironic that he felt lacking in purpose and fulfillment when he was the embodiment of the sun. The very thing that gave life to Earth.

He turned his face up to the stars, looking for comfort from his sister but even that was withheld from him. The smog that clung to the city was obscuring them. Apollo took the time to look at where his feet had carried him instead. Central Park. Even at this ungodly hour it wasn't empty. He perched on a bench, disregarding the dew it had collected overnight, and took to watching the lost souls that had decided to roam the city.

He rose only when it was time for the sun to break across the horizon, resigned to go through the empty motions of another day. He'd visit his sister later on.

* * *

Artemis' day had been going well. They were deep in one of the forests of Massachusetts, hunting one of the lasts few beasts that had escaped Tartarus through the Doors of death. They had gained a hunter in the last major city they visited and the girl was proving to be a skilled huntress. The only downside was that Thalia was seizing the opportunity of being so close to New York and had decided to visit Camp Half-Blood.

The girls were currently resting, with the exception of her half-sister. Thalia was busy packing and making arrangements to make sure all her duties were covered during her absence. The goddess smiled to herself, Thalia was as wonderful a companion as Zoe had been. Years had passed since her death but the goddess' heart still yearned for the girl who had been by her side for so long. She reckoned that a part of the pain would always accompany. However, she was no longer engulfed by it. She had been able to accept that death had been kinder to Zoe than life had been, for she was finally at peace.

Artemis turned her back to the huntresses and made her way to a meadow she had found earlier that day. Being surrounded by the wild had always made her feel complete. It was in places like this, where she felt closer to Zoe. Her eyes fluttered close. Enjoying the trickling sound of a nearby river, the silence that was unique to nature, the way the sun bathed the flowers.

Even through closed lids she was able to sense the flash of light that indicated a god was visiting. She didn't have to look to know that it was Apollo.

"Brother," she called in greeting. Perhaps if she were civil he would leave quickly.

"Artemis."

The single word was enough for her eyes to snap open. He rarely called her by her proper name, always opting for 'Artie', or the dreaded 'lil sister'. But there was another reason as to why she decided to lift her eyelids. His tone was not its usual sunshiny, upbeat melody. Looking at him, she was able to tell that his smile was off as well.

Artemis heaved an internal sigh. It would seem she would not be relieved of Apollo's presence any time soon.

She made her way to the river, knowing full well he would follow. They perched on an outcropping on rocks and sat in silence. He would speak when he was ready.

That was the issue, Apollo didn't think he was ready. He wasn't even sure why he had come. His sister didn't enjoy his company, his arrival had most likely soured her day. He turned to her but her eyes were already trained on him. She knew him well but didn't prod.

"Do you miss Mother?" she asked. He smiled sadly and looked away.

"More than you can imagine. But you, you remind me of her. Thank you for that."

Artemis looked away in hopes of hiding the emotion that had flashed across her face. Apollo was a royal pain the ass, there was no way around it. Yet, every once in a while, he would open up to her, drop the façade and allow himself to be vulnerable. It was during these moments that she remembered he was her little brother. It was in these moments that she regretted all the harsh words she had shot at him. Zeus may be her father, and Athena may be her sister, but Apollo was the only one she truly considered family. Tentatively, she stretched her hand out, taking his and giving it a gentle squeeze.

In the end, Artemis was unsure of how long they had watched the river babble in companionable silence. It could have hours, years, or simply a second. Eventually she spoke again, "Thalia is setting out for Camp Half-Blood today. You could take her there. Spending some time with your children would do you good."

He nodded but his eyes were set on the sky. There wasn't a single cloud disrupting the blue. It looked as empty as he felt.

Orange was beginning to tint the sky when Artemis rose, signaling that it was time for her to return to her huntresses. As the got closer, Apollo allowed the cocky smile to govern his features. He was accustomed to the grimaces the girls wore whenever they saw him. Had come to expect the furrow in their eyes and wrinkle of their nose. Thalia was no exception. Her expression only worsened when Artemis informed her that she would be traveling with Apollo to Camp Half-Blood but she voiced no protests.

"We'd best get going, darling. The sun's about to set."

He summoned the chariot and gave Artemis a small nod. The gesture carried more weight than any words could. Thalia was already waiting for him inside the Maserati when he reached the door on the driver's side. He took a moment to settle in before looking at her.

"I don't suppose you'd like to drive again?"

* * *

 **Please be sure to leave your thoughts in the reviews (any comments welcome), as well as any ideas you may have concerning the plot.**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Apollo was tempted to give a snort when they began their descent but restrained himself, highly doubting that his half-sister would appreciate it. Really, he would expect her to be more confident in his abilities but Thalia still had the audacity to look surprised when her feet touched the grass and she found the strawberries to be not even the smallest bit baked.

The god remained in the car after his companion had left. Maybe Artemis was right, maybe being with his children would do him good. But it would only be a maybe.

He was sure that looking at them would bring images of their mortal parent to mind. He would without a doubt find his old lovers in their eyes and in their laugh. And if he went down that road then he would reach an ultimately unavoidable destination. He would remember the cries of their mothers and he could not. He could not relive all the times he had found himself at a hospital watching the staff force a breathing tube down his lover's throat, could not maintain an image of happiness when the ringing of a heart monitor hounded him. He would not.

Maybe this is what it meant to be self-destructive. He was lonely but by no means alone. By no means had he been left to his own devices to fight this…this whatever it was. All he had to do was reach out, knock on the cabin and accept the help that he knew would be offered to him. He was not that kind of person. He was a different breed. The kind that would create its own storm and then get upset when it rained. And so he went to the only place where he knew he would find a storm, he went to the ocean.

Only a few hours of solitude were granted to him before someone arrived and afterwards he would grow to thank the Fates for this moment but for now Apollo got the distinct impression that the person was seriously considering walking past him, anyone else would have, especially seeing as they did not know he was god. This person didn't walk away, Percy Jackson sighed and burrowed into the sand next to him and maybe this is where he started _noticing_ the boy. Because the demigod chose him.

Apollo entertained himself by watching the acrobatics that Percy's face was able to manage. It started with sympathy (thankfully not pity) then vaulted into concern, fear, annoyance, frustration curiosity. He finally settled for frowning at the god.

"Well, Fred," he rolled the name in his mouth before continuing, "fancy seeing you here."

He appreciated the not exactly welcoming but not at all hostile statement. It left things open, there was _opportunity._ And really it was amazing, as an immortal he had seen things change rapidly and drastically but relationships amongst his family were made out of steel. Once a grudge was in place it would likely remain 'till the end of times. Percy Jackson had every reason to hold a grudge against him for all the wrong the Olympians had done but it seemed like he did not.

"What do you want?", and yeah, Apollo could understand how the boy got into trouble because there was a distinct lack of filter there. It seemed wrong to lie to the boy, maybe out of respect for all that he had sacrificed for them but he couldn't treat him like everyone else. Apollo settled for shrugging and pigheadedly avoiding eye contact. It was late, he had left Artemis when sundown was approaching and the moon was starting to climb its way up the sky. Soon enough the son of Poseidon would leave him alone and he would be able to comfortably sulk again.

Except Percy didn't leave. Maybe because he didn't trust Apollo enough to leave him alone in the camp he had fought so long to protect. He pushed the thought away that maybe he stayed because he cared. That was dangerous territory. Percy Jackson was an enigma and more than a few immortals had already become obsessed with him. Granted, some of those infatuated deities, much like Ares, tended to take their obsessions down a violent path.

He shook off the mental monologue and tried to clear his head until all that remained was his sister's gentle glow. The sound of the waves crashing was rhythmic, nature's song faded into the background while he concentrated on the feel of individual sand particles running through his hands. Maybe along the way he made the conscious decision to unconsciously match his breathing patterns to Percy's.

They let the hours pass in silence. The warmth that remained from the day had long started to fade and soon after midnight the shivers running through Percy's body were too much. Apollo heard the boy rise, felt him looking down at the god, heard the change in his breathing, almost felt the tensing in his muscles and his struggle to decide whether or not to speak but he did not open his eyelids. It wasn't until the demigod was a couple of feet away that he opened his eyes.

Percy

Percy hoped it was a fluke.

Really, the God's weren't supposed to interfere in the lives of their children. When he was younger he had resented this law, sometimes he still did. But now, most of the time he wanted to be left alone. He did not want the worshiping looks from campers who had not been in the Wars, not after Tartarus, not after Bob.

Having Apollo at camp set off alarms. He should have told Chiron or at the very least Annabeth when his initial hope was dashed and the following night he found the Sun God at the beach again. He did not. If he did they were sure to confront the deity and he really wasn't doing any harm. Sure, every time he made his way to the beach at night he was scared that it would finally be the night that the other shoe dropped and Apollo revealed the new and upcoming threat to the world but it never happened.

The beach was his sanctuary, the place where he could go and stop pretending he was the same kid from before the war. The wars, plural because fate was too cruel to leave it be at only one war. He bottled his sighs, Apollo seemed to need refuge too and he would not deny him that.

His routine carried on like it was before the god showed up. He was surprised that Apollo hadn't brought chaos with him. Surprised that ever since the nights he spent with him, his dreams had gotten better and he was not so often the victim of flashbacks.

If Percy were being honest with himself, he would say that he had grown to appreciate the god for the respite he brought. However, he was not honest with himself.

Things continued. The day would end, he would go to dinner, smile at his friends, escape to his cabin, wait for lights out and then make his way to the beach. The harpies had long stopped trying to deter his deviant behavior, maybe Chiron was behind that.

Some nights he sat by the god and looked at the stars and apologized to the constellations. Other nights he would sit at the edge of the water and remember the feeling of drowning. There were times where he ventured into the ocean, the god never accompanied him and it didn't seem to worry him when Percy remained hours under the water.

It was during one of those nights where things went wrong. The only thing different this time around was that instead of going into the ocean fully clothed he opted to remove his shirt. As soon as the fabric was discarded he heard a gasp from behind him. Percy turned to the god thinking maybe he was shocked by the scars on his back but didn't even manage to glance at him before light started to gather and he was forced to close his eyes before being vaporized. When he opened them again there were no blue orbs to meet him, the Sun God was gone.

* * *

 **I'm sorry for the wait. Really, really am. I've been on the other side waiting for uploads and I'm sorry I put you through that. What I'm running with is that Apollo saw Percy's word (on his back, maybe the spot where he had his Achilles heel), panicked and ran away. If any of you have any suggestion as to what that word should be feel free to PM me or post it in the comments. Review! Comments and complaints are very much needed.**


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